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Build Confidence and Fight Cyber Bullying

poshclassymom-positive-body-image-confidence-fit-healthy-nike-leggings-nike-sneakers-project-runway-lace-up-sweat-shirt-fight-cyber-bullying-8poshclassymom-positive-body-image-confidence-fit-healthy-nike-leggings-nike-sneakers-project-runway-lace-up-sweat-shirt-fight-cyber-bullying-7

Hey guys and gals, today I am going to talk about something that has happened to me personally and I know that it may happen to others as well and that is Cyber Bullying. If you think that Cyber Bullying only exists for teenagers on Facebook, Twitter or other Social Media platform, then let me tell you: It Can Happen To Anyone. Cyber Bullying Blogger Edition is like Mean Girls 4.0.

Cyber bullying can take many forms:

  • Spreading rumors online or through texts
  • Sending mean messages or threats to a person’s email account or cell phone
  • Posting hurtful or threatening messages on social networking sites or web pages
  • Stealing a person’s account information to break into their account and send damaging messages
  • Pretending to be someone else online to hurt another person
  • Taking unflattering pictures of a person and spreading them through cell phones or the Internet
  • Mean, hurtful comments and spreading rumors are the most common type of cyber bullying

poshclassymom-positive-body-image-confidence-fit-healthy-nike-leggings-nike-sneakers-project-runway-lace-up-sweat-shirt-fight-cyber-bullying-3

As a blogger, I understand that being in the public eye and under scrutiny comes with the job description, I got that memo. However that means strangers, those who doesn’t know you, have never exchanged words with you can judge you solely on your social media persona and make the choice to like you or dislike you and some times even hate you for no reason at all. They can hate your face, your style, your tone in writing, be jealous of the perfectly curated feed and mistaken it as the reality. Take your words completely out of context and nitpick the smallest details.

poshclassymom-positive-body-image-confidence-fit-healthy-nike-leggings-nike-sneakers-project-runway-lace-up-sweat-shirt-fight-cyber-bullying-6poshclassymom-positive-body-image-confidence-fit-healthy-nike-leggings-nike-sneakers-project-runway-lace-up-sweat-shirt-fight-cyber-bullying-2
Sometimes people who spread rumors and hurtful things about you are the ones you think are you “online friends”, those you confide in and shared some secrets with because you are both in the blogging world and of course bloggers should support each other right? Guess again. As the blogging become more saturated especially in large cities like NY, LA, SF things become competitive and who you think is your “friend” becomes your “competitor”. It is in their interest to see you fail, make a fool of yourself, or sometimes even spread those nasty rumors about you based on your past exchanges.
poshclassymom-positive-body-image-confidence-fit-healthy-nike-leggings-nike-sneakers-project-runway-lace-up-sweat-shirt-fight-cyber-bullying-4I’m sensitive by nature, I take things personally and my perfectionist side don’t really let things go easily. However, being in this industry has taught me to grow a thicker skin, be mentally tough, and be strong both emotionally and spiritually. I have told myself that the only words that means something to me either good or bad are the ones coming from my loved ones, friends and family. Everything else is just noise that passes by, and fades in mere seconds. If the Kardashians can build an empire stepping on all the haters, I can def brush off the insignificant trolls hiding behind the screen making attacks on the people they have never met. If you have ever been cyber bullied, here are some helpful tips that I like to adopt.

poshclassymom-positive-body-image-confidence-fit-healthy-nike-leggings-nike-sneakers-project-runway-lace-up-sweat-shirt-fight-cyber-bullying-9poshclassymom-positive-body-image-confidence-fit-healthy-nike-leggings-nike-sneakers-project-runway-lace-up-sweat-shirt-fight-cyber-bullying-5Tune It Out

Yes, when you see terrible things being spread about you across the social media IT HURTS! I feel down when I see people taken something I’ve said or commented out of context and focus on the minute irrelevant part that is has nothing to do with original content and blow it up. Should I be mad at that? Not really. The bullies only knew my online persona and activities. So there is no need to fight or argue or even trying to correct them with the partial information they have. The rumors will have their 10 minutes of Instafame and die down faster than the clear jeans trend.

Talk It Out

So you”ve tuned the haters out, but it still bugs you. Somewhere inside your mind, it still bugs you, nags you and possibly eats away at your self esteem knowing that someone out there is throwing shade at you, and your brand. The best thing to do is to talk it out with friends and family who has know you for a long time. And if are one of those truly lucky ones who really have a confidant in bloggersphere then confide in him/her. Even just talking about it makes me feel better than bottle it up in side.

Keep Doing Your Thing

The best way to shut down rumors and stories is to let your content and actions and work speak for themselves. No one knows the amount of time I pour into my work day in and day out and they don’t really need to because my content, my work ethic, my professionalism shows throughout my work. The only people that I want to impress are Brands, PR, Media Relations. Not some gossipy, jealous trolling tool that don’t even have the guts to say these mean things to my face.  So keep plugging away, keeping hustling, keep doing you and let your work be your shield.

Lastly, I hope that I have learned how to properly deal with these cyber bullying issues first hand and can effectively pass them down to my kids who will be experiencing way more digital trolling and bullying by the time they get older. We live in a very open world now, so I plan on teaching the kids at a young age how to be mentally and emotionally prepared for any unwarranted attacks.

poshclassymom-positive-body-image-confidence-fit-healthy-nike-leggings-nike-sneakers-project-runway-lace-up-sweat-shirt-fight-cyber-bullying-1I think it is appropriate to cue in Taytay’s lyrics “Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake. I shake it off.” Peace, I’m out.

~ xo Sheree

Sports Bra : : VS old (amazing options under $40 like This, This and This)
Leggings : :  Nike c/o JCPenney (more from Nike Here and Here)
Sweatshirt : : Project Runway c/o JCPenney (also love This top)
Sneakers : : Nike (was looking at This and This similar option)
Photos : : Kat Hennessey
 

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Comments

  1. Rena says

    September 19, 2017 at 8:52 pm

    Insightful discussion and well thought out. Thank you for sharing your experience. although what a terrible ordeal it must have been.

    Rena
    http://www.finewhateverblog.com

    Reply
  2. Ruth says

    September 19, 2017 at 9:59 pm

    It can be hard to blog because you are representing you and your thoughts, ideas and style and when someone comes along and basically bashes it it’s hard to not take it personally. I love your blog and have been reading it for a few years now. Love your style and don’t listen to the trolls out there.

    http://www.mylittlenest.org

    Reply
  3. Chanda says

    September 20, 2017 at 2:11 am

    you look amazing!!! Love your sweater and in the line of business where you are putting yourself out there, you are liable to gain a few haters, lol! Comes with the territory unfortunatelty!

    Reply
  4. Shelbee on the Edge says

    September 20, 2017 at 2:46 am

    Sheree, this is such a great post and I’m sure it will be helpful to many. I have been on the wrong side of trolls, too, and I handled exactly the same as you…brush it off, be yourself, and move on. It is a sad world we live in when people get pleasure from being mean…so we just can’t give them the satisfaction of allowing it to bother us. And that picture in this post! Spot on! I love your attitude1

    Shelbee
    http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com

    Reply
  5. Debbie Stinedurf says

    September 20, 2017 at 2:47 am

    First of all, thank you for the shoutout! Second, this was a really well written post. Unfortunately there’s not a short supply of haters in the world, both in real life and online. Especially online people seem to develop a sense of keyboard bravado and think that it’s okay to say whatever they’d like no matter how ugly it is. In the past I’ve called out trolls. I tracked one woman down online and emailed her directly. I offered her the opportunity to return to the blog and join in on a discussion on a post I’d written about her behavior. Needless to say, she declined. Hopefully she learned something from being confronted about her behavior.
    Debbie
    http://www.fashionfairydust.com

    Reply
  6. Leanne says

    September 20, 2017 at 4:59 am

    Sheree, thank you for your inspiring post! Cyber bullying has happened to be also a few months back by a fellow blogger. She had commented on one of my blog posts with hateful remarks that really hurt, saying things about my outfit, what I should wear, the way I looked, etc. People like that are probably hurting, so they feel that they have to take their hurt out on others. It is really sad and we have to pray for them. Keep up the great work on your blog!

    Leanne.

    Reply
  7. Mary Leigh says

    September 20, 2017 at 5:18 am

    Love the lyrics and the whole post. I also really appreciate that you are sensitive by nature. I think too often, we tell victims of bullying to “toughen up”, etc. It’s totally fine to be sensitive and to embrace that. You’ve shared some really helpful tips that I think can be useful to anyone in this sort of situation.

    Reply
  8. Cheryl Tucker says

    September 20, 2017 at 6:12 am

    I’m so sorry you had to experience this. I will never understand how so many people on this earth are just mean. I won’t make excuses for them, they are hateful and mean. Great post hun and you look amazing!
    Peace!
    Cheryl
    http://www.northwestmountanliving.com

    Reply
  9. michenn says

    September 20, 2017 at 6:45 am

    This hasn’t happened to me yet but it’s definitely something I’m scared of. It’s happened to a few friends of mine (2 were bloggers, one was a normal person who had a stalker) and it’s just so demoralizing and I felt so much for them for going through that. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to have a child going through that.

    Reply
  10. Roxanne says

    September 20, 2017 at 7:18 am

    Preach, girl! The anonymity of social media makes people believe they can be mean, when they would never say those things to your face! Consider them cowards. You’re killing it!
    –Roxanne
    http://glassofglam.com

    Reply
  11. Samantha Mariko says

    September 20, 2017 at 7:52 am

    It’s so unfortunate that we have to deal with things like this in our generation, and with the kind of work we do. I haven’t really encountered this (yet), but I definitely agree with the 3 points of advice – it’s important to keep your ground and having a strong support system! 🙂

    Reply
  12. Andrea@WellnessNotes says

    September 20, 2017 at 10:13 am

    Great discussion of such an important topic. And I’m so sorry that you had to experience this! It’s sad to me that there appear to be quite a few people who think it’s okay to say anything they feel like online and attack others.

    Thanks for the link up & Happy Wednesday!

    Reply
  13. Samjah says

    September 20, 2017 at 10:30 am

    What a relevant and needed post! I have been a victim of cyber stalking and it’s not a pleasant feeling. Talking it out helped me as well but most importantly the fact that I kept going made me feel better with time. I love your sweater! And thanks for this post!

    Reply
  14. Rachel Vogt says

    September 20, 2017 at 2:48 pm

    You look amazing as always. Yes ,there are so many of those people out there just like to sit behind their screen and trolls people. We just gotta keep on doing what we love and hell with them.
    @rachelvogttrends
    http://rachelvogttrends.com

    Reply
  15. Suzanne Spiegoski says

    September 20, 2017 at 3:59 pm

    I am soooo with you on fighting against cyberbullying, and that it comes in so many forms. Why is it so hard to be kind to each other? And you are looking so fit babe! I love the sweater in the beginning of the photos from this post too. xo, Suzanne~ http://www.suzannespiegoski.com

    Reply
  16. Jennifer Lee Quattrucci says

    September 20, 2017 at 4:11 pm

    Wow !!! I’m so sorry this happened to you!!! I had no idea and really can’t believe it. Then again, I do believe it because I’ve seen soon pretty horrible things that most likely come from people who are sad about their own lives and can’t be paid any attention to. You have the best attitude!!

    Reply
  17. Elise says

    September 20, 2017 at 7:08 pm

    I have read way too many posts about cyber bullies this week, and I don’t like it. I don’t understand why people feel good by tearing others down. You have such a great outlook, it is all just noise. Haters are gonna hate. You are fabulous!

    xx, Elise
    http://www.sparkleandslippers.blogspot.com

    Reply
  18. Gracie says

    September 20, 2017 at 8:00 pm

    Thanks for sharing this post. I hope I never have to face cyber bulling. Glad you are on top of your game. Love the grey sweatshirt.

    Xxgracie

    snappedbygracie.com

    Reply
  19. Sharon says

    September 21, 2017 at 12:43 am

    Such an important topic and it’s so good you covered it! any forms of bullying is just terrible and I hope it doesn’t happen to anyone anymore! It’s time people realize how hurtful it is!

    Reply
  20. Open Kloset says

    September 21, 2017 at 11:39 am

    Hey Darling,
    Its so true and sad that we are living in a World with full of haters.
    People are so mean and Jealous I had so many experience but Now I just Ignore.
    Your post was so Inspiring:)
    Loved the Sporty Look:)

    Reply
  21. samira says

    September 21, 2017 at 1:18 pm

    What a lovely post babe! SO inspiring, I loved reading this. People can be so mean sometimes and we need to just shut those people out and think positive!

    xx, Samira

    http://www.leathertolunch.com

    Reply
  22. Stephanie says

    September 21, 2017 at 2:05 pm

    These are great tips. As the school year just started, it is important to go over this with my students to help them understand not to bully and what to do if they are a victim.

    Reply
  23. Candy says

    September 21, 2017 at 5:29 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear you were a victim of cyberbullying. I love the suggestions you gave to help cope with it. Being in the public eye expose us more to such things and I hope someday there will be repercussions to those who think hiding behind a computer makes this behavior ok. It’s not!

    Reply
  24. Chrissy says

    September 21, 2017 at 11:09 pm

    Having been cyberbullied since I was in middle school, I can relate as well as agree with all the tips you’ve provided. It’s irritatingly annoying how people think they can do this kind of thing just because they’re behind a computer screen, but like you and Tay Tay said, haters gonna hate.

    Reply
  25. Jane | https://www.dailylifetalk.com/ says

    September 22, 2017 at 2:23 am

    Bullies online or offline have no respect or love for themselves that’s why they look for ways to pull others on their level. These tips are so helpful, Sheree. I am sorry you had to go through this, but I am glad you keep doing what you do. And your work speaks for itself. I love the leggings and you look fabulous as always 🙂

    xo,
    Jane

    Reply
  26. Leanne Brookes says

    September 22, 2017 at 7:14 am

    This is a great post, and something that should be addressed more I think. I haven’t yet encountered online bullying, but as my audience grows it’s something I’m braced for. I think the main thing to remember is that people are unhappy in their own lives, so they have to take it out on other people. Also, jealousy, massive jealousy and we all know how ugly jealousy is.

    Your blog is so great and you clearly work super hard on it! You deserve your success. I’ve just signed up to your link party, I’ve never seen one of these before but it looks like an awesome idea!

    xxx

    Reply
  27. Helen Chik says

    September 22, 2017 at 10:03 pm

    I seriously have zero tolerance for bullying and online bullying is even worse because you can’t really even confront the person who is doing it. Such a great post lady and I’ve always found that by knuckling down and doing what you need to and just having a ‘I couldn’t give a fuck attitude’ is the best way to deal with it. Even in Sydney the world of social media is incredibly saturated and competitive but at the end of the day, its the quality of work that matters to brands 😉

    Great post honey xx

    Helen xx
    https://helenchik.com/september-beauty-must-haves

    Reply
  28. Gina Diaz says

    September 22, 2017 at 10:39 pm

    I’m so sorry this happened to you. I have not idea something like this could happen. Thank you for sharing this post, it is very appreciated it. You have the right attitude. Love your outfit.

    happy weekend, xx-Gina

    Reply
  29. Christine Kong says

    September 23, 2017 at 3:55 am

    This is such a great post and I wholeheartedly agree with you on all points. Especially having kids two of which are girls, social media and cyber bullying are things I will definitely have to keep on top of. It’s unreal how rude people can be and how hurtful words can be when misspoken and misinterpreted. I think as bloggers we are all under scrutiny but we do have to have thick skin and let the haters roll off our backs. As long as we are confident in who we are and what we do let those that are insecure and have hurtful things to say be bitter and unhappy. Don’t engage, don’t even acknowledge. You are a true inspiration and I am so happy we met through this crazy world of blogging! I love this athletic wear by the way and need this sweater!! Xoxo, Christine
    http://dailykongfidence.com/

    Reply
  30. Amanda says

    September 24, 2017 at 1:17 pm

    First of all I love your athletic wear! It’s perfect! I came very close to writing a post pretty similar after experiencing a bit of this myself. I just needed to get it out but I opted not to as I was writing from an emotional view point and I wanted my post to mirror yours more, from a perspective outside of the situation. Does that makes sense? Anyways, I’m so thankful you wrote this! In any competitive industry this takes place and I never understand it. The way I view it is, no amount of kindness or tips I give to another is going to make a brand decide to not work with me. When I was doing pageants my coach said to me that you should hope others like you but it’s okay if they don’t. Like you I’m a very sensitive person although I put on a pretty tough front, so those words can be hard to live by sometimes. I also think that when someones is bullying, it speaks more to their character and insecurities. When I look at it that way, it’s easier for me not to focus on the negativity and even give that person grace. Great post my friend.

    Manda | http://EvocativelyChosen.com

    Reply
  31. Jo says

    September 24, 2017 at 8:31 pm

    Thanks so much for sharing this post with us. You’ve shared some really great advice and an insightful post on the ugly side of having an online presence. I’m so sorry to hear you were being cyber bullied. Keep doing you and your head up high because you’re doing such great work here on your blog.

    xo, Jo

    Reply
  32. Jacqueline says

    September 24, 2017 at 10:21 pm

    This could not be more accurate. It’s sad to say but it’s hard to find friends in the blogger world. Even in a small town where not many people are doing it, competitiveness still becomes a thing that gets in the way. Unfortunately we all say, we should all be supporting eachother right? Wrong. It’s kinda every person for themself. That’s the reality of the situation. At the end of the day I’m sure someone always has something mean to say about someone else. I love how transparent you’re being about it. But it’s all noise at the end of the day. You know yourself better than some pseudo friend. Thanks for this! I’m sure many girls feel this way.

    Reply
  33. Britta says

    September 25, 2017 at 12:00 am

    Thank you for writing this post!
    Cyber bullying is everywhere! And like you said it is not only teens that bully each other! Adults are way more out there!
    Being a blogger it is the worst because people don’t know you and are still forming there opinions based solely on the pics they see on insta etc.
    The strange thing is I thought as we got older everything would change but it just keeps on going! Which is so sad!
    Luckily there are more positive things about being an online persona that keeps me going. All the friends I have made makes it all worth while!
    Xo
    Britta

    Reply
  34. Jill Wright says

    September 26, 2017 at 1:53 am

    It’s so great that you shared your experience and thoughts on this matter! It’s terrible that it exists and that we are supposed to expect it to a certain degree because we are in the public eye! Your tips are so thoughtful and useful.

    You look gorgeous in your activewear by the way!

    Stay your beautiful, positive self.

    J. x

    Reply
  35. Eva says

    September 26, 2017 at 9:55 am

    I understand you week, I doesn’t experienced yet. It’s really important to focus on our work because you working a lot , and well. Our motivation should be impressed brandsnad Pr . Right . Nice quote in the end hehe ..shake shake …
    ❤️
    Eva
    http://www.themermaidfashion.com

    Reply
  36. Tandya says

    September 26, 2017 at 10:30 pm

    First of all, you look AMAZING! “hashtag GOALS.” This post makes me so sad! You are sooo sweet and I can’t believe that anyone wold cyber bully you, especially someone who you considered a blogger friend.I love your tips on handling cyber bullying. When something is wrong, it eats away at me until I get whats on my mind, out. I always have to talk it out with someone! Thank you for shedding light on cyber bullying. So many of us go through it, but we don’t talk about it as much as we should!

    XO
    Tandya
    http://www.simplytandya.com

    Reply
  37. Lana says

    September 27, 2017 at 3:57 am

    I think “keep doing your thing” is the best advise you can give. You should never stop fight for your dreams. I think when you become a public figure, when you share your thoughts and some part of the private life with others you will find crazy people who starts to hate with no reason. That is normal. Just don’t take in personal.
    Very useful post babe, thank you for the advise!

    http://lanaluu.com

    Reply
  38. Michelle says

    September 27, 2017 at 4:43 am

    Love your message of positivity! Just keep doing your thing! Like you said, haters gonna hate – just shake it off! Did you have to deal with bullying or is this just a PSA?
    Also love your athletic look – you are one hot mama!
    XO
    http://www.lehoarder.com

    Reply
  39. Eliza says

    September 27, 2017 at 9:14 am

    Oh dear, I’m so sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, this happens all the time, and it’s such a pity that you have to come through it. Now you can only trust only your beloved ones and people who are very close to you and don’t open to the whole world, coz it can hurt. I prefer to stay neutral with everyone I know and don’t know, but I would never ever put my real me out there. You wrote such an inspiring post. Thank you so much for sharing it!

    Cheers, Eliza | http://www.fashion-confession.com

    Reply
  40. Vanessa says

    September 27, 2017 at 3:36 pm

    Girl, reading this make me happy! Because this post is full of good vibes and positivity! I’m sorry to hear that you went through an unpleasant situation. But as you have mentioned, the blogosphere is a very saturated market, but if you stick true to yourself and personality, it simply doesn’t matter what other people think. Just do what you love and enjoy the most. And I have realized that you’re authentic and you are doing such a great work!
    You look beautiful on that athlectic combo.
    Have a nice day!

    Vanessa

    http://thefashionstatement.net

    Reply
  41. marcy says

    September 28, 2017 at 12:11 pm

    I just learned so much about cyber bullying babe!! I knew it existed but didn’t know it can be this far but I agree people tend to do this a lot with people in the public eye. I’m sorry for everything that happen to you but looking at the positive side you are helping many others to help avoiding situations like yours happen. Thanks for sharing all these positive advices and for been such a great inspiration.

    BTW loving this sporty attire look!!

    xoxo
    Marcy

    Reply
  42. Candace says

    September 29, 2017 at 6:49 pm

    I have definitely been a victim of cyber bullying many, many times and it only seems to get worse the longer you do it. Like one of the tips you suggested, I have learned to tune it out. Even doing this, I still find myself thinking about it. I’m so sorry you had to go through it too. Just remember how amazing you are and how much we love you and your content 🙂

    Reply
  43. Diana says

    October 4, 2017 at 5:26 am

    Babe what a great post. I found US bloggers seriously the meanest in the way, that they like to talk about you behind of you. I never liked this type of people, but instead of being nice to each other bloggers do nasty stuff and for what? Stupid competition. Thanks for talking about it so!

    http://www.queenhorsfall.com/

    Reply

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